Saturday, December 27, 2008

Math is OVER!!!!

On Dec. 17th I made the last trek to Clio to take my final exam in my math class. I can tell you that I had some fierce anxiety running through my whole body a couple days before the actual test, but nothing like really freaking out the morning of. The last 15 weeks has been really hard; frustratingly difficult!!! For people that are blessed with the ability to really understand and know math, they won't understand. The people that are like me know the confusion and struggle all to well. I pray that my children take on my husband's clarity in math instead of my inability to grasp the concept. I had been driving to Mott's Northern Tier 3 times a week for the last 3 months; 2 class periods and 1 tutoring session. The tutoring was a huge help and I got the point where I really liked going every Tuesday at noon. The tutor made everything that the instructor gibbered about make sense, at least to the point that I could get through a test. It was such a relief when I walked out of the last class, even though I didn't know at that time if I had passed or not. At that point the cement block fell off my shoulder and I really didn't care. Of course I always wanted to do my best and certainly pass the class, but I had gotten to the end without missing one day and I was proud of myself either way. I did indeed pass the class with an "S" on my transcript and I knelt to the floor with tears in my eyes and thanked GOD. For it was purely by his GRACE that I made it through! All the nights I stayed up exhausted trying to learn at the kitchen table with Jamie by my side after he'd gotten out of work, the prayers, the help from Leo my tutor, the compassion of the instructor, seeing my children's' faces as I took a test, doing it for them and me, not wanting to let my family down, not giving up, not wanting to waste a bunch of $$, trying so hard and giving it my all. Everything came down to an "S"! Stress! Satisfactory! Success! Sacrifice! Sweet! It was all for something, a means to an end. The end that is closer to a goal. A personal goal that I know now that I will achieve. I have taken a long time to get my college education, but I have not quit and I won't. When I tell my kids' that education is important I mean it and seeing me struggle with this class or something else they learn tenacity and perseverance, which are great lessons to learn. I am proud of me!

2 comments:

Kim said...

I KNEW you could do it!

kristikara said...

Good job Nikki!! You should be very very proud.