What a week-end..

Lets start on Friday, my day off. Nothing to do... no school and no work. AHHH relaxation. The day started with me and my wonderful son hanging around the house watching Little Einsteins which he loves and I never get to curl up with him and just do nothing. Jamie was running errands and Grace was at school. We then went for a walk. It was so nice and sunny. I could see GOD in everything that afternoon. The sun on my face walking hand in hand with my beloved. Sulls is just chattering away about the leaves and the flowers (weeds) and all the nature..ants, bugs and birds. He grabs my hand as we are walking and says, "I love you Mumma" my heart melts and I love him more than when he went to bed last night. The walk was confirmation that I am to be at home with my children, just a little longer. The walk showed me today that I am a mother first. That I have to sacrifice for my wants for the moment. I might not get to go out with friends and do the "fun" things now, but someday I will. I also don't want to clean as much so I'm only keeping two jobs.

Then came Sat. We got up and decided that this was going to be a work day. Get stuff done around the house. Jac lugged all the wood out of our garage and set a pile out by our shed. Cleaned all the traces of the mouse house in the log pile with bleach, that felt good. We then cleaned out the clutter of the garage, hung things on the walls and got things put away that hadn't had a home in awhile. I can park in there now which is great! Then McDonalds and a movie, pulled the hide a bed out and had family time. So Awesome!!! I ended up doing math homework until midnight and then Jamie and I watched Grey's alone, no kids. Great day!

Sunday came and Jac let me sleep in until 9 30, the phone rang. My mother in law calling to let us know that my father in law was going to die today. We got to Grayling in a little over two hours, but we missed him. Mike died at 1:30pm and we got there at 2:oopm. We shouldn't have stopped at the rest area, I shouldn't have taken a shower or had a whole pot of coffee, we would've made it. I saw GOD in the moment that we just missed, like he was almost detaining us. So we didn't have to be there for the worst of it. The screaming and the crying and the misery. After hospice and the funeral director came and removed the body Sullivan asked to see papa. I told him he was gone. He said, "No Mumma he's just sleeping." I'm regretful. I thought they understood. They are too little. Grace may remember, but sulls most likely won't.

Today, Monday, I had my second math test. To tell you the truth I know I bombed it. I wanted to cry right in the middle of the test, I wanted to walk out of class, I wanted to tell everyone who'd listen that I am sad, that my family has suffered great loss. But I didn't. I did the best I could and said alot of prayers to keep me in my seat and to stay in class. It stunk! I wanted to leave so bad, I wanted to run out to my car and scream and cry. Then I got home and I saw the sweetest little faces and heard laughter so loud that it made me snap out of it. We had the honor of Kendall coming over after school today and boy it was great. The kids' had a blast. From playing in the camper, going for a walk, riding scooters, playing in the leaves, having lunch, playing littlest pet shop and letting Sulls tag along. Kendall is a sweet little girl and was a blessing to us today. Thank you Amy for allowing us to have your sweet daughter today. We would love to have her anytime!!! I mean it too.